{"id":2468,"date":"2026-09-01T08:31:50","date_gmt":"2026-09-01T08:31:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/?p=2468"},"modified":"2026-09-07T08:39:55","modified_gmt":"2026-09-07T08:39:55","slug":"good-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/01\/good-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Good Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"

RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

When Alan Davidson and Robert Davidson published their parental wisdom book, \u201cHow Good Parents Raise Great Kids,\u201d exactly 30 years ago, they shared the collective wisdom of parents in their own words. This was unique, what with its in-depth look at the lives of families whose kids were doing well.<\/p>\n

The book explained and related, while inspiring why good parents don\u2019t try to win every fight, why they are not perfect, why they admit their mistakes, why they feel awkward while talking about sex, and why they prepare for trouble beforehand.\u00a0 The Davidson duo went right to the source \u2014 into the homes and lives of well-adjusted, self-confident kids, hand-picked by high school teachers across the US. Agreed that the concept was Western, not its implications. Because, kids, wherever they are, are kids \u2014 also, relatable when it comes to raising children in the East too.<\/p>\n

The book was designed for parents to help children not just survive in the Darwinian sense, but also thrive in a fast-paced, complex society. It showed the way that despite the enormous distractions kids face today, they can grow up happily, and do exceptionally well in life. The book, in more ways than one, was a pioneering effort. It was also positive and innovative. It did not look at the neuroses, compulsions, phobias, and adjustment problems, or how to solving them. It focused on healthy cases and models \u2014 of intelligent solutions to parenting puzzles.<\/p>\n

The book offered an intimate glimpse into the homes of all types of families, upper-class, lower-income, and single-parent. It highlighted six key elements that were indispensable to quality child-rearing, viz., communication, encouraging intellectual development, discipline, self-esteem, values, and socialisation. As the Davidsons articulated, after 18 months of conversation with parents of extremely well-adjusted, well-rounded, and happy children, that, \u201cInner contentment, self-reliance, and competence were the hallmarks of these kids whose perceptive parents focused less on cognitive milestones, like first words, growth charts, or straight-A report cards, and more on helping them to exploring their own creativity, developing individuality, and realising their potential.\u2019\u2019 This included healthy living and healthy habits.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe best approach to your parenting expedition,\u2019\u2019 as the authors put it, \u201cis to see the years ahead as miles on the trail.\u00a0 Static occurs when children\u2019s needs develop faster than their parents\u2019 communication skills.\u2019\u2019 It is obvious that good communication skills come in handy when you want to raise great kids.\u00a0 The keynotes are \u2014 listening, talking, not talking. Being there when necessary. Not being there when appropriate. Respecting children\u2019s right to privacy and their right to not communicate.<\/p>\n

What about the communication gap that parents and kids face? Simple. Close the communication gap.\u00a0 How? Over to one of the good parents from the book, \u201cWhen this happens to other parents \u2014 and, it will \u2014 they ought to begin closing the communication gap by making the first overture. Show a willingness to listen. Listen to new ideas, to new ways of looking at kids\u2019 problems, even to silence.\u00a0 When people are considerate to listening to your point-of-view, you\u2019re more willing to listen to theirs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cContributing to the communication gap,\u201d according to the Davidsons, \u201cis the generation gap.\u201d They add, \u201cIf you have ever tried arguing the merits of Beethoven, or the Beatles, over the latest rap, or heavy group, you know how wide the gap can be. Sure, every generation believes the one before it was square and out of touch, but today\u2019s teenagers seem to be more inventive.\u2019\u2019 Kids, after all, learn their behaviours by watching their parents. The golden rule is, \u201cBe sure your communication with everyone is calm and considerate.\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

Good parents place great emphasis on body language, posture, attention, keeping an open mind, listening quietly, participation, not pontification. Wait for calm feedback with a feeling of caring and camaraderie.\u00a0 It\u2019s a mode that can help parents use a brace of other communication techniques, viz., compromise and collaboration. Not so easy. Because, children, however smart they are, do not always think \u2014 rather, they respond, thanks to our educational system, where subjects aren\u2019t taught with emphasis on understanding the process, but just the answers.<\/p>\n

Good parents are aware of creative and critical thinking. And, they have helped their children tap their hidden mental powers. In short, they have taught them to be junior Einsteins, Edisons, or Venus Williams, and look at the world in new, innovative, critical ways. \u201cEffective parents relax the controls and preconceived notions of what is right and wrong. They encourage the unusual, value originality and spontaneity, and keep the creative spirit alive.\u201d Also, \u201cChildren express themselves through dancing, singing, drawing, musical instruments \u2014 activities that allow them to freely exercise the vast regions of their imagination. The joy of creativity comes from producing something unique, something original \u2014 without stipulations, or regulations. Kids do better in this department without guidance and direction, and certainly without censorship. Teachers ought to pursue certain topics for the mere enjoyment of them and nothing else.\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

The Davidsons have a unique agenda for developing intelligence in kids by way of reading, learning fundamentals through observation, comparison, categorisation, sorting, recall, questioning, evaluation, inferences, and intelligent conclusions. Besides, the value of linguistic intelligence and logico-mathematical skills, not to speak of setting goals to oneself, are imperative. Discipline, without spanking, should also be focused upon, with case examples, as much as common parental foibles, viz., extreme punishment, and over-protection. Also, self-esteem, familial, social and cultural values, the good and bad of money, and a host of other related issues should come under its compass, more so the need to love and be loved.<\/p>\n

Fast-forward to 2026. The book is just as relevant today. To paraphrase a review, \u201cA great book, but for parents, to be successful, they have to actually implement the practices without being helicopter parents, while allowing their kids to making mistakes and learning from them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014 First published in The Himalayan Times<\/em>, Kathmandu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR When Alan Davidson and Robert Davidson published their parental wisdom book, \u201cHow Good Parents Raise Great Kids,\u201d exactly 30 years ago, they shared the collective wisdom of parents in their own words. This was unique, what with its in-depth look at the lives of families whose kids were doing well. The book explained […]\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2469,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-2468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-literature-culture","tag-featured"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2468","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2468"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2468\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2470,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2468\/revisions\/2470"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2469"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2468"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2468"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2468"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}