{"id":962,"date":"2026-03-01T06:32:45","date_gmt":"2026-03-01T06:32:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/?p=962"},"modified":"2026-03-05T08:28:38","modified_gmt":"2026-03-05T08:28:38","slug":"the-growing-up-equation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/2026\/03\/01\/the-growing-up-equation\/","title":{"rendered":"The Growing Up Equation"},"content":{"rendered":"

RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s, to use a Dickensian phrase, the best of times, and the worst of times. And, as we navigate in our society where instinct is given a free ticket, we are paradoxically not willing to grow up. We are growing up, all right, in a way, but only as \u2018half-adults.\u2019\u00a0Besides, we are running after our illusions, as also deceptions.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no need to explore the horizons why such dilemmas are worse compounded by confusion. We are not able to get closer to ourselves; we also find ourselves overwhelmed by our own design. What\u2019s more, we\u2019ve crowds everywhere and we\u2019re primarily lost to ourselves, thanks to our frenzied existence. Blame it on the vagaries of our highly inflationary, chaotic world, and we now have a parody. Most of us seem to look alike. You look like somebody else with the same elements of stresses and tensions; and, \u2018that\u2019 somebody looks so much like you.<\/p>\n

While our kids, also youth, are growing up on TV, or electronic, diet \u2014 their \u2018surrogate\u2019 muse \u2014 we \u2018grown-ups\u2019 are leading a lateral life, catching things with our eyes, not minds. We keep ourselves glued to the latest news updates, or watch IPL, just for the heck of it, because our friends, colleagues and others are also hooked to it. So much so, just about everybody who\u2019s somebody, is a raving, if not a roving, \u2018expert\u2019 on any subject.<\/p>\n

And, why not? This is, after all, the \u2018happening\u2019 age, where things happen quickly, as if by \u2018birth-write.\u2019 So, when you drop your guard, or scanty clothing, on social media, you\u2019re the \u2018feast\u2019 of every eye [Else, you\u2019d, perchance, \u2018rewrite\u2019 history and attract a good following]. Well, it\u2019s not that we don\u2019t see what\u2019s emerging through our rear-view mirror. We call such fleeting pictures familiarity, not proximity. And, when we see people like ourselves, all over the world, our minds get riveted to the accustomed \u2014 indiscipline and inconsistency. Not distinction, or convergence.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s equally true that we are all driven by hope. Hope has always been the much-needed element of community life. This is how our modern society has progressed \u2014 a culture with its vast army of rival siblings. Well, in today\u2019s world, the word sibling is illustrative of a family; it isn\u2019t a simile. Yet, the expression holds good on its own, bringing into play our common tendencies and heartaches. The outcome is simple. Grown-up adults are increasingly retreating towards adolescence, just as more and more adults prefer not to become adults. Worse still, most of us [\u2018grown\u2011up\u2019 adults], are willing to \u2018buy\u2019 anything coming from misconstrued religion \u2014 not tradition, scriptures, spirituality, or values.<\/p>\n

Yet, the point is we all agree with our expanded idea of new sibling attributes. This is the premise of this column \u2014 one that dwells on the fact that we are progressively moving in one direction, even when some of us don\u2019t openly fancy such a course. The fact of the matter is that we have all arrived, though the irony is: you just can\u2019t speak to someone who\u2019s not your age. They won\u2019t listen to you. They will think that you\u2019re not worth heeding to, more so if you are not within their \u2018age-bracket.\u2019 This means just one thing \u2014 we cannot stop our slide into primitive thought, also existence.<\/p>\n

To paraphrase thinker and author Robert Bly, \u201cDrastic change has produced this social primitivism \u2014 a new identity that\u2019s found in embracing a mass movement. This mass movement absorbs and assimilates the individual who is reduced to an infantile state, for this is what a \u2018new\u2019 birth really means \u2014 to become \u2018like a child.\u2019 Well, kids are primitive beings \u2014 they are credulous, follow the leader and\/or readily become members of the pack. Lastly, primitivism follows when people seek a new identity by plunging into continuous action and hustling. Remember, it takes leisure to mature. Most people in a hurry can neither grow nor decay; they are preserved in a state of perpetual inanity.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is our new reality today, because our society of half-adults has \u2018advanced\u2019 far too much in several climes, more so in affluent nations, or states, built on technology and gross prosperity. The trend is catching up rapidly elsewhere. You may be a part of such a \u2018reawakening\u2019 already. Well, if you aren\u2019t yet, or vacillating, it\u2019s time you joined the [r]evolution.<\/p>\n

So, what are you waiting for? Just go for it, as it were, and you will look like everyone else around you \u2014 with their clich\u00e9d fixations \u2014 without growing up.<\/p>\n

\u2014 First published in India First<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR It\u2019s, to use a Dickensian phrase, the best of times, and the worst of times. And, as we navigate in our society where instinct is given a free ticket, we are paradoxically not willing to grow up. We are growing up, all right, in a way, but only as \u2018half-adults.\u2019\u00a0Besides, we are running […]\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-literature-culture","tag-featured"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=962"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":964,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962\/revisions\/964"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rajnidamboor.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}