Many of us have a way with ourselves. We feel we are ‘victims’ for no real reason. The point is we never asked that we be born at a particular time, on a particular day, or year. We did not ask for what we got, to begin with. It was only when we began to grow up — most of us think we now have, though we haven’t yet — that we made grand efforts to change things. When we succeeded, we were jubilant; when we failed, we had the scale of the situation, or circumstance, to blame. In other words, growing up gave, or gives, us the licence to complain. Call it learned helplessness, or what you may, the fact is we often cultivate helplessness at the drop of a thought — or, when we are not capable of finding the right answers to life’s daily pressures, or problems. When this happens, we tend to hold on to the belief that we cannot help ourselves. ‘So, how can we help others?’ Wrong. Well, remember, there are scores of people that surmount their difficulties to help others in distress. These are the wonderful people who find their own call, or voice, and an innate drive to change their — and, also others’ — lives.
Despite growing awareness, the number of people who put on the role of victims to perfection is only growing — and, expanding just as well. You can easily recognise them, even in a crowd, thanks to their vividly sad or ‘victimised’ faces. All of this can change, or transform, if only we reclaim our lives and find our own voice, or empathy, in what we would like to do in life — not just achieve things for the sake of flaunting wealth, fame, or status. Put simply, when our external situation does not gel with our internal world, we should aim to resolve it suitably — without fear. This is difficult; not impossible.
It should be borne in mind that the more we are at ease with our interests and values, the more open and receptive we will be vis-à-vis all the vagaries of life. When we find a resource in the arts, music and/or the sciences to embellish or showcase what we truly believe in and espouse, we begin to know our inner self. Just a few simple things can also take us the distance to knowing ourselves. A smile, or lending a helping hand to an elderly co-passenger in a bus, or train, or arranging a free health camp for poor patients in your locality, or housing society, are part of the process — a progression, a sense of experience. It provides us the feel-good-factor. In other words, it makes us feel glad and fulfilled — with a sense of greater self.
Philosophers say that when our sense of the greater self becomes powerful, we realise that we are in control of our thoughts and feelings. In so doing, we become proactive — not reactive. As actress Minnie Driver said, “Nothing is impossible. With the right attitude, you can do anything you want. It’s all about choosing to be positive, instead of being negative about things... Like I can look at ‘not working,’ as being ‘no one's hiring me, and no one will give me a job.’ Or, I can look at ‘not working’ as being ‘a fantastic vacation.’” This is not mumbo-jumbo. It means that we should aim to awaken our thought process. The sooner we do, the better it is for us to reach the portals of a new level of creativity, or understand the process of life with an open, receptive mind.