There’s this fascinating video clip of tabla maestro Ustad Zakir Hussain not getting worked up, or irritated, when one of the microphones got wobbly and was falling off. He holds it with his left hand and weaves his magic on the tabla with amazing dexterity — and, with a delightful smile. His poise, élan and grace are mesmeric. This is what being cool in the face of annoyance is all about.
Hussain’s focused ‘effort’ was certainly not intended to change our behavioural communication and/or attempt to impact what other people would think of us, although there is a lesson to be learnt from it. You’d think of a commonplace example to bring home the point. A job interview. You’d sure want to look fairly relaxed and calm, albeit you may be anxious, or too eager, and desperate for the position. This could emanate and reflect your work conduct, leaving much to be desired. What could, perhaps, help us to bail out of such an ‘abyss’ is how well we manage, or behave when we speak, or communicate.
This brings us to the significance of ‘impression management,’ which corresponds to portraying oneself as an actor, while donning different roles. The inference is simple: when we adapt diverse styles of communication in dissimilar circumstances, it is possible for us to manage our social life with ease. This would also mirror as to what we are — in actuality. This does not, however, mean that you’d want to be seen at your best always. The fact simply is — it is next to impossible to be at our best all the time, day-in and day-out.
We all try to create positive impressions, genuinely, or otherwise, for useful outcomes — and, in every situation we confront. This helps us to communicate in such a way that most folks would like us, or feel positive towards us. This also makes life progress easily and agreeably. Yet, the fact of the matter is this foray should not smack of manipulation, or synthetic, also artificial leanings — because anyone would be able to spot the ‘politician’ in us.
Remember, first impressions are always the best imprints. You know it, don’t you — that the instinctive knowledge of being good with first impressions is a boon like no other? It helps us to influence new acquaintances, apart from others who we may know well and for a long time.
This is where looking at personality traits emerges to the fore, while perching on the belief that all of us may possess the same set of traits and/or differ from one another with a certain attribute, viz., sensitivity, sensibility, or idiosyncrasy. All of this and more rests on certain fundamental traits. Psychologists suggest that this may range from three to twenty-three elements, although the most significant, or vital, are just five of them. They are fittingly called the ‘Big Five:’ 1] Neuroticism, or emotional solidity: calm, relaxed and stable against moody, anxious and self-doubting; 2] Extroversion, or positivity: loquacious, forward, candid against shy, quiet, reserved, self-conscious; 3] Openness [intellectual/imaginative]: creative, intellectual against idle, insipid; 4] Agreeableness: compassionate, caring, warm, sincere against insensitive, harsh, unfriendly; and, 5] Conscientiousness: organised, immaculate, meticulous against messy, sloppy, unrealistic, thoughtless.
Such traits are genetic; they are often formed early in life. There isn’t much we can do with our personality as we grow up, except, perhaps, work on some of them and ‘fix’ them with resolute effort. Yet, it is imperative that we understand that the proclivity to be comparatively predisposed to anxiety, or moderately extroverted, appears to exist from one’s formative years in certain individuals. It must, however, be remembered that even the most anxious, or extroverted, among us are not always anxious, or extroverted, during every illness, or situation.
We all know from personal experience that one can always learn to be calm when they have not been composed, or affable in situations in which they may have been somewhat reclusive, before. This leads us to one big question — is personality a flexible proposition?
Well, there are no easy answers, because flexibility isn’t as simple as it sounds. More so, because there are apparently cultural portents, or influences, with regard to how we shape our own personality. You may call it ‘educed culture’ — a culture that emerges from particular environments. They tend to create specific sets of responses that happen so ‘normally’ with one’s personality — being as ‘cool as a cucumber’ like Hussain, or as explosive as Virat Kohli, on the cricket field, for all the ‘right’ reasons.
— First published in India First
