Many of us indulge in self-talk. Self-talk guides us from our own emotional responses to a more conscious level. You’d call this state a learning plateau reflecting our needs and attitudes. When you process experiences and emotions associated with self-talk, you begin to filter not just your experiences, but also beliefs. Beliefs are the fundamental nuggets of life; they mirror our sense of conviction. This is what that propels us with ideas and images of our self and of others. It takes us to a new level — a part of our own thinking patterns, including a gamut of behaviours we emote in day-to-day life.
Tennis legend, Andre Agassi, put it succinctly, “Tennis is the sport in which you talk to yourself. No athletes talk to themselves like tennis players. Pitchers, golfers, goalkeepers, they mutter to themselves, of course, but tennis players talk to themselves — and, answer.” Picture this. Tennis icon and Zen ‘exponent’ Pete Sampras exemplified self-talk like no other. He took it to a new plane. He would always enlighten his inner self that he’d been there before and would be there now — even when he’d be several points behind. This was the little voice inside Sampras’ mind that provided him with the powerful effect to emerge a champion.
We’d all emulate Sampras’ exemplar and create ideas and thoughts to accomplish what we aim for in life and career. This is all part of our consciousness. It connotes our ability to effectively transform our emotional experiences. Put simply, self-talk is the inner bearing, the innermost voice that informs us of our self-esteem and also self-worth. It engages our mind. It determines our state of mind — whether we are confident enough to go ahead and attain what we wish to achieve, or get bogged down by failed outcomes based on past events.
According to Branch Coslett, MD, a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania, US, “There is evidence that the words you say to yourself could change the way you see yourself, although this is still limited to the self-reports of patients. It’s a fact too that their effect on brain physiology hasn’t yet been studied.” Yet, as she avers, “Self-talk probably does shape the physiology of perception, given that other sensory perceptions — the intensity of pain, for example, or whether a certain taste is pleasing or foul, or even what we see — can be strongly influenced by opinions, assumptions, cultural biases and blind spots. So, maybe, self-talk is more than a confidence booster. From a neuroscience perspective, it might be more like internal remodelling.”
To unravel what goes on in our mind and indulge in self-talk is no rocket science. Agreed that the whole idea is delicate — but, it works if only you are conscious of its tenor and effect. If you’ve a ‘low-down’ feeling of self-worth, you will not be able to feel, or experience, self-talk that celebrates your dormant talent and/or your own sense of self-worthiness, if not pure ability. You’ll also not run that extra mile and accomplish what you’d want to.
All of us share more than a handful of common needs and wants. For example, food, shelter, camaraderie, a job, career, ‘a sense of belonging,’ and the need to put across our affection for others. All of us seek appreciation and also recognition from others. If one isn’t able to achieve such elementary ‘rewards’ in life, it leads to a ‘frozen’ want. This could slowly develop into unanswered desires, or needs. In other words, disappointment, frustration, and also depression.
Is there a way out? Yes, indeed. Self-talk. But, remember, it only works when you build upon what you have by way of talking-to-oneself and/or are able to hear yourself and others. It is not that you’ll be able to articulate everything like a novelist of the top draw through self-talk. Yet, you’ll be able to — in little ways — convey, correspond, learn, or seek from yourself and from others the cognitive aspect of feelings, as also thoughts. They are, in effect, the ‘signposts’ you associate with your attitudes. They trigger thoughts for effective behaviours associated with emotions. However, just working on your attitudes won’t take you far — you need to challenge clichés, as also your goals. You need to examine and resolve your feelings too. If you don’t, you end up not knowing your own self. You’ll also give the impression that you want to be left alone, enveloped by a sense of apprehension that you can’t be what you always wanted to be.
— First published in India First
